Thursday we had “large group performance evaluation” for chorus. And I, being at the end of the women’s chorus, had to stand next to the guys. And of course the guy I stand next to just so happens to be adorable. So throughout rehearsals and the bus ride there. We flirt. naturally, we talked more and more. Then after we got back to the school after spending 6 hours without being out of a 50 yard radius of each other we talked a bit and he walked me out to my car. We exchanged numbers and went our separate ways. Once I got home I turned on my computer and then I get a call. From him. He says, “hey emma. It’s me. What’s up. Cool. We’ll I’m actually going to dinner and I don’t know if you’re hungry or what but I was just extending an invitation to you” and naturally my heart skips a beat and I say yes. We go to dinner and sit at a table and we sit and talk for a good two hours. Neither of us checked our phones or paused the conversation. Eventually we get on the topic of relationships and what we have done with other people and duh I tell him everything because I know it’s not much and what do I care? So after dinner we sit in his car for a while and decide to go to his house. He has to sneak me in and we go to his basement. He turns on a movie and we snuggle up. Mind you, we are still in our chorus attire. I am in a floor length, boob crushing dress and he’s in a tux. Anyways. We’re chillin there for a minute and before the first musical number is over in the movie we’re already making out. We adjust and as he starts to kiss my neck I say “I cannot have a hickey” he says okay and moves back up to my lips. Eventually he slides his hand down my leg and pulls my dress up and oh my lord. That boy. Ugh. Yes. After that We roll over so I’m on top and I return the favor. Once he finished we looked at the time and saw I had to be home in 10 minutes. I get out my phone to look at my makeup and realize I have a huge hickey I got pretty mad at him. As he was sneaking me out to my car his dad pulled up and we talked for a bit. He was nice. Ha. It was sorta awkward but he didn’t get in trouble. After I got home I was there for literally 5 minutes and my brother pulls up. (Thank Jesus I left when I did). I told my mom last night and she said she’s really disappointed with me but i really don’t care. I was having fun. But now I have this huge hickey on my neck and now I’m grounded for it and I’m really embarrassed by it because everyone is assuming that I had sex or whatever. I hate that everyone wants me to be grown up. And doesn’t expect me to make mistakes. I’m a fucking teenager. Let me do whatever I want. If I fuck up like this i’ll learn from it. Trust me I already have. Ugh. Whatever. I just needed to tell someone.

I have hickeys and I’m grounded. Oops.

Oops sorry mom


first off one of my best friends killed herself.
Secondly my mom is in debt and can barely afford to let me play lacrosse.
I’m fucking failing four out of five classes.
Now my fucking Costa Rica trip is cancelled and it might get postponed till summer.
I fucking hate my moms boyfriend. Or whatever the fuck this lazy ass piece of shit that basically lives in my house is.
I just want him gone and I just want it to be me, my brother, my mom, and my pets. We don’t need him. I’m going to fucking murder him if he fucking speaks another goddamn word to me I swear to fucking god. It doesn’t feel like home with him here. He’s like a leech and he’s making my mom drink more and I fucking hate it when she drinks. I just want my mommy back.

So I sit at the door going outside with my back to it and so at any moment someone can walk in and see anything that’s on my desk. I’m on tumblr and I forgot that I folLOW PORN BLOGS.

S/O to p-a-r-a-d-is3.tumblr.com for reblogging basically everything from me.

One time I messed something up in front of my grandmother and I said “aw tits” an she said “that’s a new one” and wrote it in a book.

Nigga is u gay?

Do you remember when everyone was freaking out over Miley’s “Can’t be tamed” video?


I feel like I’m always in the way.

Rant thing I’ve been thinking about

Okay so there is a couple people on here that follow me and I follow them that I know in real life.
May I please say thank you to the ones that I see and make eye contact with every single day. I really appreciate that y’all don’t judge me for what I post (at least I don’t think you do) and don’t ever bring it up in conversation. And if I follow you and I know you irl then you’re okay. Whatever you say or post on here is completely confidential and Im not going to tell everyone in our school system that you post gay fan fictions all day

I love y’all. 😊

So I send basically this to people that send me half naked selfies.

I’m the tallest short person.
I’m the fattest skinny person.
I’m the meanest nice person.
I’m the fastest slow person.
I’m the most extroverted introvert.
I’m the most hypocritical hypocrite.
But I’m a human.
So aren’t we all?

So I’m talking to this guy and he’s acting all sexy and stuff and of course this is when I see all the funny posts on tumblr also I’m trying to stifle my laughter so he doesn’t get offended.

i’m not a lesbian or anything, but i’d totally have sex with an extremely attractive woman if i was horny and she was alright with it.

Just sayin.

It’d be super cool if someone would ask me stuff.